4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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