don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
