I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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