I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
