if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
