she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
