Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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