we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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