Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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