So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
