my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
