i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
