woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Sober January is a disaster.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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