go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
