hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Can I color on your dick again?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
