You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
