it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
