I'm gonna have a badass scar
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
