perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
