you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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