I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
