She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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