Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
