She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Life is so much better after having sex.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
