I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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