great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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