I'm gonna have a badass scar
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Blood and glitter go together right?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
