I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
