I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
