I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Damn victory sex feels great
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
