Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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