sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize