Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
