Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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