She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize