My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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