it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
