I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
