he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You are the jesus of drinking
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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