How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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