Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
youre lurking in front of me
After last night, I could never be a politician.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize