dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
