I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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