Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
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