We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
