I think I died a long time ago.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize