Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
