But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
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