Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
