yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
