If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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