Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
