it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
