we have officially lost it.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize