Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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