North Korea, Best Korea!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He literally asked permission to hit on me
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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