I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
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