That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
