i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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