No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
