I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
