i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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