They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
