I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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