So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize