I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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