I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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