My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Randomize
