batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
