your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
