Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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